News? What news?

You know it's a slow news day when the main stories boil down to who's dating who and who asked who out for a date. Then there's the firing of one too sexy for her dress too sexy for her shirt too sexy etc second verse worse than the first. Never satisfied with making much ado about nothing and what will we name those new born baby penguins? Bad enough we long for peace and quiet but then when it happens the devils' workshop takes over. What no explosions? No tornadoes? Not even a brush fire to report. Go out and find something Jimmy Olsen lest Clark and Lois have no copy to write. No contractor scam? Come on now this is the human race where talking about here. Not so much as a juicy love triangle from the congressional halls. What? The aides and senators are behaving themselves? I find that hard to believe.
Ah but we're no fools because usually when such dead time occurs something is brewing in the background and it isn't coffee. Just you wait as the evidence oozes out, the door is flung open and light is shed. Skeletons are in the closet and they're just dying to get out just need to open the door. Film at eleven.

So it's on to sports after some silly segue and chuckling bubble headed bleach blond girlishly covers her snickers. On to you Mart or Biff or whatever your frat boy name is. So the hometown got beat once again and the coach gives the usual pep talk to the fair weather about how he was impressed with the development of (pick one: pitcher, quarterback, goalie) and the team is progressing nicely by building a solid foundation for next season.

And never to retire to the comfort of the sheets without the latest up to date acuu weather with street to street pinpoint precision only it always rains on your street and nobody else's when you were planning the barbecue. Easier to launch a rocket to the moon than prognosticate. But let's face it it's a 50/50 deal. Either it rains or it doesn't and around here odds are it will. That's a given. What's a little water anyway? Never hurt anybody unless you live near a river.

So that's a wrap but tune in tomorrow for the juiciest of juicy titillating of teases (got to keep them wanting more) all time scandal of scandals with exclusive never before seen footage.

Okay so I'm lazy as the next guy and the good Capt. Kangaroo is long gone, don't tell me I've nothing to do.